On Being Alone

Guy Gawking at the Sun

One of the many benefits of staying alone is the opportunity to reflect and meditate, which both favour an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. Being alone can be scary for many people. In many ways, a lot of what we do is aimed at escaping that state. Whether it is through mobile phones, chat apps, television shows, cinemas or amusement parks, the need to feel connected to other people is one which is over-arching.

In trying to escape being alone though, we tend to invest time in ultimately empty ventures, searching for temporary highs to mask the underlying neediness and inadequacies we experience. Once we can acknowledge that we were created sufficient, in and by ourselves, and what is most important is stretching the limits of that self-sufficiency by first understanding its true nature, only then can we fully realize and enjoy the benefits of time spent being alone.

During the day, the rapidity of events can make it difficult to fully experience all that we can, and perhaps should.

It is necessary to have blocks of time cut out to just revel in solitude, to look within, at our own states, so we can truly see the outside world, through our own eyes, not lens subliminally imposed on us by society.

To be integrated and at peace with each of our decisions, we have to understand what drives them. While there may be similar base factors that drive decisions, such as fear, sadness, love, passion, denial, anger or the need to prove ourselves right (or someone else wrong, for that matter), the exact combination of these factors varies, from one individual to the next. If we can accurately pin-point them, then we can try to change how we react to them, if our decisions have been poor, or further improve the quality of our actions, if they have been good.

Being part of communities, whether family, friends or work, has its psychological ‒ and cardio-vascular ‒benefits. Learning to be alone and to understand the gifts inherent in that “aloneness” can surely lead us towards a more integrated life, one relatively unburdened by external expectations and reactions and more in-line with our true unaffected nature, our deeper selves.


– This article was  written by Chidozie Akakuru and was first published on Medium

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